Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much? A. They can’t stand fast food.Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“ Wife: “Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce ‘Shall we go out and have a cake’!”Daddy did you know that girls are smarter than boys? No, I didn’t know that. There you go.Late one night a mugger wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!"
A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number. More jokes at: http://www.short-funny.com/clean-jokes.php#ixzz4SmoMnnF6